African Americans have been called so many different names, for better and (mostly) worse, that a list would probably wrap around the world twice. Between our oppressors and our creative, lemonade making selves, a new name for Black people is likely trending right now. One of the most offensive memes on the internet is the sarcastic jab at us referring to one another as Kings and Queens. And we need to stop it. How? Stop calling each other Kings and Queens.
Now, some folks would say, "but historically, we had empires that are never acknowledged and we should not forget where we came from, playboy!". I totally agree with that. However, I also think it's an insult to our intelligence to keep using this terminology. Why should we use the white man's co-opted terms for us when we could come up with something a lot better. I mean, non-black folks often envision their European royalty, hence the mockery and/or misunderstanding. And furthermore, history is becoming a pretty bullshit topic. We can do better than that. We need to start using words that really reflect who we've become.
And what have we become? Whatever the hell we want, that's what.
Why kings and queens? Those folks were known for incest and wearing dirty ass robes and other games of the throne. We off that. We need to be wizards, nigga. Or like, warlocks or witches or pixies. Why not say something actually dope instead of some defunct monarchs? Don't call me king, bro. Nope. Not me. I'm a dinosaur. I got too much dino-sauce, feel me? I know you do.
We're so quick to claim our other heritages, too. Whether we're indigenous, Hispanic, or anything else. Get over being admixed and stop shouting it out all the time. Make yourself known off the rip, playboy. You're part Native American? You like hip-hop? Why not be out here with a name that really represents you? How are you today Young Thuggin' with the Antelope? Or Lil Uzi Buffalo? Bodak Yellow Bird. The sky is the limit.
Hell, you could even mix it up. What is stopping you from being Tyreek aka The Wizarding, Tomahawking, Veloci-Rapper? Think about that. You can be whatever you want. It doesn't matter what you call yourself considering it's nowhere near as ridiculous as what these people are saying about you when you aren't around.
Randall 'Crabmeat' Thompson is a stand up comedian based out of Las Vegas, NV. He dreamed a dream of time gone by.