Hey, little babies! Check out the shop this week and get 15% off your order. Simply click on the words "15% off everything" on the shop page to reveal the coupon code. Your support goes towards production of physical merch for other people to buy at shows, on the street, or the psych ward I will eventually end up in. Do your part! Can't purchase now? Or this week? Or you don't even know when? That's totally cool! Another coupon will be available in just a few short weeks. Why not check it out and see what you like and then forget about it until then? The law of attraction is real, folks.
To be honest, I'm happy to even have a little online store. It makes me feel all professional and adult inside. Spreadshirt is pretty speedy with their quality products, too. 5 stars. *huge grin, thumbs up*. (They really are though!). And they have a warehouse here in the Las Vegas area so I likes 'em. I likes 'em a lot.
I'm going to try to have new products whenever I can.
Hey, guess what? I can! Wow, that was quick. What is it, you ask?
Introducing the OFFICIAL "Fuck My Face, Crabmeat!" thong. Available right now.
That's right folks. This time around, I've got something for the ladies! Finally, ya boy, Crabmeat, is taking one of the best phrases ever uttered from the delightful crowd at the "Brand New Open Mic" and slapping it on some panties...for the streets. Well, I mean, technically they are for the bedroom or a strip club. At the very least, we can all agree they are for your downstairs. Please refrain from throwing undergarments in the road, for your safety and the safety of others.
At last! No need to worry about a seafood allergy with a nice little bib like this. I'm a goddamn problem solver so order yours now. There's never a bad time to buy new underwear. And really, isn't what we've been fighting for all these years.
Click here to visit the shop. Thanks in advance!
Randall 'Crabmeat' Thompson is a stand up comedian based out of Las Vegas, NV. He dreamed a dream of time gone by.